DAMMIT I MISSED

By
Randy Baranczyk
May 16, 2007 (draft)

1254 Juno Avenue
Saint Paul, MN 55116
651-895-6839

Cast:
Golfer
Nun
Voice (baritone, male)

SCENE 1, EXT. GOLF COURSE FAIRWAY

The GOLFER and NUN are walking on a golf course fairway. 
Holding a golf bag, the Nun is acting as the Golfer's caddy.  As they approach a golf ball on the fairway, 
the Nun hands a club to the Golfer.  The Golfer squares up, takes a big backswing, and unloads a huge swing
 -- and hits nothing.

GOLFER
Dammit, I missed!
Golfer swings the club around in anger.

NUN
You shouldn't curse and get so angry over something as trivial as a game of golf.  
The Lord could strike you down, you know.

GOLFER
(meekly)
I suppose you're right.
Golfer addresses the ball, swings again and this time connects with the ball.

SCENE 2, EXT. GOLF COURSE GREEN

Golfer and Nun are on the green now.  Golfer faces a long putt.  He hits the ball and the Nun 
pulls the flag from the cup.  The ball just misses the hole.

GOLFER
Aw, dammit, I missed!
Nun wags her finger at the Golfer

NUN
Sir, didn't I warn you about your language and your anger?  The Lord is going to strike you down!

GOLFER
(sarcastically)
Okay, okay.  I'll watch what I say.  Sheesh.
Golfer now approaches the ball, which was left at almost tap-in distance from the cup.  
He lines up the putt, steps up to the ball, checks the line to the hole again, addresses the 
ball again, and finally taps the ball for what should be an easy putt.  The ball rims out of the cup.

GOLFER
(nearly exploding in anger)
Dammit, I missed!
Still holding the flag pin, the Nun now is angry and she shakes the flag violently in the direction of the Golfer.

NUN
Sir!  That swearing!  The Lord is going to strike you down!

GOLFER
(thoroughly annoyed)
Oh, whatever.
At that moment, an ominous, dark cloud forms quickly over the golf course. 
There follows by a blinding flash of a thunderbolt.  Smoke from the strike envelops the green.  
As the smoke clears, we see the Golfer standing with a dumbfounded look on his face.  He looks 
over to see lying on the green the now-charred body of the Nun, a blackened hand still clutching 
the flag pin.  From the heavens erupts a deep, deep VOICE.

VOICE
Dammit, I missed!

THE END






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