DOCTOR VISIT SKETCHES: PAIR OF CURTAINS, SINUS INFECTION, SECOND OPINION
By
Sara Baranczyk
1254 Juno Ave
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55116


DOCTOR VISIT: PAIR OF CURTAINS
CHARACTERS: DOCTOR, MAN
INTERIOR, DOCTOR'S EXAMINING ROOM

MAN sitting in exam room wearing boxer shorts and a hospital 
gown that doesn't close all the way in the back. DOCTOR comes in and starts exam.  

DOCTOR
What seems to be the problem today?

MAN
I feel like a pair of curtains.
DOCTOR continues the exam and moves to the back of MAN. 
DOCTOR adjusts MAN's gown to close it.

DOCTOR
A pair of curtains?
(Beat)
Well, pull yourself together, man!

THE END


DOCTOR VISIT: SINUS INFECTION
CHARACTERS: DOCTOR, WOMAN
INTERIOR - DOCTOR'S EXAMINING ROOM

WOMAN is sitting in the exam room.  Doctor enters.

DOCTOR
What seems to be the problem today?

WOMAN
I think I have a sinus infection.
Doctor continues exam and presses on WOMAN's face near the cheekbone.

DOCTOR
Does it hurt when I press here?
(Special effects) Green stuff squirts from WOMAN's nose.

WOMAN
Not anymore!
THE END



DOCTOR VISIT: SECOND OPINION
CHARACTERS: DOCTOR, DIRECTOR, SPECIALIST, PSYCHIATRIST


SCENE 1
INTERIOR: DOCTOR'S EXAMINING ROOM

DIRECTOR is sitting in exam room.  Doctor enters. 

DOCTOR
What seems to be the problem today?

DIRECTOR
My throat hurts when I yell "Cut!"
DOCTOR begins exam, touching DIRECTOR's throat.

DOCTOR
Does this hurt?

DIRECTOR
A little bit.
DOCTOR looks into DIRECTOR's mouth.

DOCTOR
Say "Aaahhh."

DIRECTOR
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
DOCTOR continues exam, but now checks for knee reflexes, elbow flexibility, etc.

DOCTOR
I think you may have (fill in some awful disease).  This could be very serious.  I recommend you see a specialist.

SCENE 2
INTERIOR - SPECIALIST'S EXAMINING ROOM

DIRECTOR is sitting in SPECIALIST's office.  SPECIALIST enters the room, checks a medical chart.

SPECIALIST
What seems to be the problem?

DIRECTOR
My throat hurts when I yell "Cut!"
SPECIALIST does a routine exam.  SPECIALIST pokes and prods and occasionally asks some questions.

SPECIALIST
Does it hurt when I do this?

DIRECTOR
Yes, it does.
SPECIALIST
Mmmm, I see.
More examining.  Then, SPECIALIST puts his/her hands on either side of DIRECTOR's jaws

SPECIALIST
Okay, yell "Cut!"

DIRECTOR
CUUUUT!

SPECIALIST
Did it hurt when you did that?

DIRECTOR
Yes!
SPECIALIST drops his/her hands and straightens up.

SPEICIALIST
Well, then don't do that.
SPECIALIST folds up stethoscope, jots a note, and leaves.

DIRECTOR
I can't work like this.  I'll be in my trailer.

SCENE 3
INTERIOR - DIRECTOR'S TRAILER

We see DIRECTOR in trailer lying down on the couch with a big old-fashioned 
ice pack on her head.  PSYCHIATRIST is seated nearby, taking notes.

FADE OUT
THE END

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