by Timothy Meinke

Hippie #1.……………………………...................

Hippie #2.……………………………...................

Wally the Bear………………………………........Police officer

TWO HIPPIES IN A SMOKE-FILLED VW BUS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD. A SIREN SOUNDS.

HIPPIE #1

Aw, (BLEEP) man! It’s the fuzz!

HIPPIE #2

Don’t worry about it.

HIPPIE #1

Don’t worry about it?! It’s the (BLEEP) -ing fuzz, man!

HIPPIE #2

Don’t worry about it, dude! I can handle the fuzz.

CUT TO VW BUS AND POLICE CAR PULLING OVER. CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF OFFICER’S BOOTS AS HE STEPS OUT OF HIS CAR AND APPROACHES THE BUS. CUT TO DRIVER’S SIDE WINDOW ROLLING DOWN AS SMOKE POURS OUT THE WINDOW. HIPPIE #2 POKES HIS HEAD OUT.

HIPPIE #2

Is there a problem, officer?

WALLY

(OFF-SCREEN.) I pulled you over for driving erratically.

HIPPIE #2

Honest, officer! I was driving in a straight line; it’s the road that was crooked.

HIPPIE #1

Yeah! Especially that last mile!

HIPPIE #2

Shut up, dude!

HIPPIE #1

No, you shut up!

WALLY

(OFF-SCREEN.) Have you boys been smoking dope? I smell pot in there.

HIPPIE #2

Oh? I don’t smell pot. (TO HIPPIE #1) You smell pot?

HIPPIE #1

No, man! I don’t smell pot.

WALLY

(OFF-SCREEN.) Well, I smell pot in there!

HIPPIE #1

Aw geeze, officer! Isn’t there something we can do to make that pot smell go away?

WALLY

What are you talking about?

HIPPIE #2

Oh, I don’t know. I thought maybe if we poured some- (PRODUCES HONEY POT.) HONEY into it, that would cover up that nasty pot smell.

CUT TO WALLY THE BEAR. HE LOOKS AROUND, THEN HOLDS OUT HIS PAW. HIPPIE #2 GIVES HIM THE JAR.

WALLY

Drive carefully. Have a nice day! (HEADS BACK TO HIS CAR.)

HIPPIE #1

(WITH ADMIRATION.) DUDE!!

HIPPIE #2

See? I told you I could handle the fuzz!

The End