Legends and Realities pt. 1-3

by Timothy Meinke

Cast

(In order of appearance)

Christopher Columbus………………………………Thirteenth-century explorer

Native American……………………………….........

Alexander Graham Bell……………………………..Inventor of the telephone

Watson………………………………........................His assistant

The Orion Wire Guy…………………………………Spoofs the Verizon Wireless guy

Announcer……………………………………………Voice-over

Wilbur Wright……………………………….............

Orville Wright……………………………….............Inventors of the airplane

Part 1

Christopher Columbus

BLACK SCREEN WITH THE GRAPHICS “The Legend of Christopher Columbus.” CUT TO A BEACH WITH A ROWBOAT DRAWN UP ON SHORE. COLUMBUS STEPS OUT OF THE BOAT CARRYING A SPANISH FLAG. HE PLANTS THE FLAG.

COLUMBUS

In the name of King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella, I, Christopher Columbus, hereby discover and claim America for the Spanish Empire in the year of our Lord, 1492!

CUT TO BLACK. FLASH THE GRAPHICS “The Reality of Christopher Columbus.” CUT TO THE BEACH WITH THE ROWBOAT. COLUMBUS APPROACHES A NATIVE AMERICAN.

COLUMBUS

Hey buddy, know any good Chinese restaurants?

NATIVE AMERICAN

I look Chinese to you?

COLUMBUS

No, actually you don’t. Say! Can you recommend a new deli?

The End

Part 2

Alexander Graham Bell

BLACK SCREEN WITH GRAPHICS “The Legend of Alexander Graham Bell.” CUT TO BELL’S 19^TH CENTURY LABORATORY. A REPLICA OF BELL’S FIRST WORKING PHONE AND VARIOUS ELECTRONIC COMPONENTS ARE ON THE WORKBENCH. BELL IS PUTTERING AROUND WHEN HE SPILLS A BOTTLE OF ACID ON HIMSELF.

BELL

Watson! Come here!

CUT TO WATSON IN ANOTHER WORKSHOP. HE IS LISTENING ON ANOTHER PROTOTYPE TELEPHONE.

BELL

(OFF-SCREEN. ELECTONICALLY DISTORTED.)

I want you!

WATSON JUMPS UP EXCITEDLY AND EXITS OFF-SCREEN. CUT TO BELL’S LAB. WATSON BURSTS IN AND POINTS TO THE TELEPHONE.

WATSON

Alex! I heard every word loud and clear! It works! You just invented the telephone!

THEY EMBRACE AND JUMP UP AND DOWN. CUT TO BLACK SCREEN. FLASH THE GRAPHICS “The Reality of Alexander Graham Lippschitz.” (The joke being is that the name “Bell” was part of the legend and Lippschitz was the real name of the telephone inventor.) CUT BACK TO THE LABORATORY. BELL IS SITTING AT THE WORKBENCH WITH HIS FEET UP. THE ORION WIRE GUY STEPS ONSCREEN CARRYING A PRIMITIVE “CELL PHONE.”

GUY

Can you hear me, now?

BELL FLASHES HIM THE “OKAY” SIGN.

GUY

Good!

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER)

Orion Wire. More or less working for you.

The End

Part 3

The Wright Brothers

BLACK SCREEN WITH THE GRAPHICS “The Legend of the Wright Brothers.” CUT TO STOCK FOOTAGE OF AN ANTIQUE AIRPLANE FLYING. CUT TO THE BROTHERS ON THE GROUND.

WILBUR

We flew, Orville! We flew our first airplane!

ORVILLE

We did it, Wilbur! We did it!

THEY EMBRACE AND JUMP UP AND DOWN. CUT TO BLACK SCREEN. FLASH THE GRAPHICS “The reality of the Wright Brothers.” CUT TO THE WRIGHT BROTHERS.

WILBUR

We flew, Orville! We flew our first airplane!

ORVILLE

Yeah, so what? It was a bumpy flight, the food was lousy and they lost my luggage!

The End