Rookie Mistake pt. 1-2

Mediocre Moments in Movies pt. 11-13

Movie Marvin Sketches

by Timothy Meinke

"Mediocre Moments in Movies is the new name of the series of "Movie Marvin" sketches formerly known as "Great Moments in Cinematography."

Cast

Marvin.………………………………..................Usher

Announcer……………………………….............Voice-over

Sally……………………………….......................Theatre employee or patron

"Hairy" Bear………………………………..........Wally the "WaZoo!" Bear

Off-Screen Voice…………………………………

Part 11

When Harry Met Sally

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA IN HIS TRADEMARK COSTUME.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, "Mediocre Moments in Movies;" by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"When Harry Met Sally."

CAMERA PANS BACK. "HAIRY" AND SALLY ENTER FROM OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE SCREEN. SALLY IS CARRYING A GROCERY BAG WITH A BAGUETTE POKING OUT. THEY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER AND AD-LIB "EXCUSE ME," "SORRY," ETC. SALLY EXTENDS HER HAND.

SALLY

Hi, I’m Sally

"HAIRY"

Oh! Hi! (SHAKES HER HAND.) I’m "Hairy."

SALLY

(SEDUCTIVELY.) You sure are, big boy!

SALLY HANDS "HAIRY" THE GROCERY BAG, HUGS HIS ARM AND THEY WALK OFF-SCREEN TOGETHER. ZOOM IN TO MARVIN.

MARVIN

"When Harry Met Sally."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another mediocre moment in movies by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN DOES THE "CAROL BURNETT" BOW.

The End

Part 12

Man on Fire

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA IN HIS TRADEMARK COSTUME. HE IS HOLDING A GAS CAN.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, "Mediocre Moments in Moves;" by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"Man on Fire."

MARVIN DOUSES HIMSELF WITH GASOLINE AND TOSSES THE CAN ASIDE. HE MAKES A LIGHTER OUT OF HIS FIST (Old Stan Laurel shtick.) AFTER A COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS, HIS THUMB "LIGHTS UP." HE LIGHTS HIMSELF ON FIRE, THEN CALMLY FACES THE CAMERA.

MARVIN

"Man on Fire."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another mediocre moment in movies by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN DOES THE CAROL BURNETT BOW.

MARVIN

(LOOKING PAST CAMERA.) Is it me or is it a little warm in here?

OFF-SCREEN VOICE

You’re on fire, dude!

MARVIN

(FALSE MODESTY.) Oh! Well, thanks!

OFF-SCREEN VOICE

No! Seriously, dude! You’re on fire!

MARVIN

Oh. (REALIZATION STRIKES.) Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Aah! Aah!

MARVIN HURRIES OFFSCREEN.

The End

Director’s note:

Once Marvin realizes he’s on fire, his reaction should be more like he is carrying a hot dish from the kitchen rather than extreme pain and agony.

Part 13

"10"

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, "Mediocre Moments in Movies;" by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"10."

GREEN-SCREEN A BEACH SCENE BEHIND HIM. HE SLIPS ON A CORNROW WIG AND STARTS RUNNING IN PLACE IN PSEUDO SLOW MOTION. HE SLOWLY COUNTS EVERY TIME HE TAKES A STEP.

MARVIN

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9… (BREAKS CHARACTER AND LOOKS OFF TO ONE SIDE OF THE CAMERA.) Line?

OFF-SCREEN VOICE

Ten!

MARVIN

Thanks! (RESUMES CHARACTER.) 10. (BREAKS CHARACTER.) "10."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another mediocre moment in movies by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN DOES THE "CAROL BURNETT" BOW.

The End