Wazoo Script…..FRED THE PHONEY PHONETIC STTUTTERER……episode 1

 

 

 

Characters:   Fred the Phoney Phonetic Stutterer   ( a senior, little dirty old man type)

                     Nurse  (Young, blonde and voluptuous)

 

 

                       FADE IN……..INTERIOR HOSPITAL ROOM SCENE

Fred is in a hospital bed tilted up( so we can clearly see his facial expressions)…Nurse enters the room, takes thermometer out of his mouth and checks it..Looks concerned, and then takes a wet washcloth from the bedside table and proceeds to dap his forehead…

 

                         Long Pause while this action continues

 

FRED: Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu , Nu Nurse……Are my test, te,test,te,test,te,test,te,testicles…(exhausted pause)…..ba,ba,ba,ba,ba,ba,black  ?

 

NURSE : Really sir.. you want me to check that?

 

FRED:   Yes, pl,pl,pl,pl,pl,pl,please…. And cal me Fre, Fre, Fre, Fre, Fre, Fred..(again exhausted)

 

                            Nurse lifts sheet and stares at his testicles, then slowly grabs the damp washcloth and tries to wipe them off ..this starts off very hesitantly and builds to a slightly provocative manner…(only slightly)..During this action camera cuts back and forth between alternative zoom ins on Freds and the nurses faces..(Fred shows pleasure throughout, the nurses expression is more of a build)

 

                           Nurse finishes wiping them(the testicles) off, smiles at Fred, and says

NURSE:  There now, is that better?

 

FRED: (with no stutter, in perfect pronunciation, and slowly)….…Nurse, that was very nice, but I just wanted to know if my test results were back..

 

Fade out on freds sh—eating smile and the nurses look of stupidity…..

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