Cast

Waitress in department store luncheonette

Newlywed Couple (man and woman) customers having lunch

-Dressed Couple (man and woman) customers having lunch

Security Guard for the department store

Scene 1 (Set in a luncheonette in a mid-western city. A newlywed couple, are having lunch, when a well-dressed couple sits at the table next to them. The man is wearing a long trench coat.)

(Chitchat begins between to two couples as a waitress comes to the table with menus and water.)

 

Waitress

Good afternoon. How are you today?

 

Well dressed man -

We’re fine, thank you.

 

Waitress

Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?

 

Well dressed man

Two diets cokes would be great please.

 

Waitress

No problem

(The two couples continue to chat. Then, as the waitress is approaching with the sodas she can hear their conversation.)

Newlywed woman

(With excitement) We just got married last weekend!

 

Well dressed woman

How exciting! Where are you going for your honeymoon?

 

Newlywed woman

Well...we’re not going on one. We don’t have much money, so we just plan to spend it together just bumming around town here. (Newlyweds smile at each other and do a quick cuddle)

(The well-dressed couple looks at each other, like they know what the other is thinking)

Well-dressed man

It just so happens, that we have a summer home in Tampa Florida. We could let you use it if you’re interested. No charge!! Consider it a wedding gift!

(Waitress is putting the sodas on the table and is waiting to take their order.)

Newlywed man

Oh my god, that is so generous of you! (They look at each other with a "I’m in if you are" look)

Waitress

Are you ready to order?

Well dressed man

I’ll have the fried Spam sandwich w/ fries.

Well dressed woman

I’ll try the tuna with chips please.

Waitress

Ok. That will be ready in just a few minutes.

(She turns to walk away as the discussion resumes. She’s thinking to herself, how nice of them to offer their home to strangers.)

=================================================================

Scene 2 (The Newlyweds are getting their coats on as the well-dressed man writes down an address on a napkin and hands it to the man.)

(The waitress is at the next table over taking an order and can still hear the conversation)

Well-dressed man

Here ya go! You are going to have so much fun. I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back!

Newlyweds (talking at the same time and gushing)

Thank you so much.

You have no idea what this means to us!

(ETC, ETC)

(Newlyweds leave the luncheonette still gushing)

====================================================================

Scene 3 (The well-dressed couple is getting ready to leave, putting on their coats. The waitress is at the back of the luncheonette, watching with curiosity, as the well-dressed man seems to be having a problem with something that has spilled on him. He is shaking his leg and trying to wipe off his shoe and pant-leg.

As the waitress approaches to see what’s the matter, she sees him pull the creamer (in a syrup dispenser) out of his pocket and slide it back onto the table. An undercover security guard for the store, happens to be standing there waiting for his order and sees the whole thing. The waitress and the security guard look at each other. The security guard rolls his eyes is disbelief. The waitress is trying to keep from laughing as the security guard approaches the couple.)

Security Guard

(Flashes his badge) Would you mind stepping over here sir? (He takes the man by the arm and pulls him over to the wall to frisk him. The wife slips away un-noticed.)

Face the wall please and put your hands up on the wall. So, let’s see what else you might have in there. . . .

(The guard pulls out the mustard, then a peppermill, then loads of silverware tumbles to the floor followed by other miscellaneous table items).

===============================================================

Scene 4 AS CREDITS ARE ROLLING. . . .

[Somewhere in Florida] a taxicab pulls up to a vacant lot. The door opens and out steps the newlywed couple. The taxi drives off with their luggage, as the couple is looking around confused and frantically. They begin to chase the car yelling and screaming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The End

 

 

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