I was on …a…sabbatical, yeah, that’s it!

By Stephanie Weiss

 

Place: Interior Office

Cast: Mr. Dixon – interviewer

Mr. Waverly – interviewee

Stuey – the mail delivery guy

Margie – office clerk

 

Scene One: Mr. Dixon is looking over Waverly’s resume – studying closely when something strange catches his eye.

DIXON

Hmmm – there seems to be a large span of years between jobs here. Are these dates correct? Can you tell me where you were during that time?

WAVERLY

(Nervously) Umm - yes, those dates are correct. I was…um…on a…ah….

DIXON

Sabbatical?

WAVERLY

Yes, that’s it – a sabbatical!

DIXON

A fourteen year sabbatical?! Sabbatical from what?

WAVERLY

Well, I actually was…(idea pops into his head) I won the Power ball and didn’t need to work anymore so I took a trip around the world…and then the money ran out and so here I am.

DIXON

Come on – you don’t expect me to believe that one?

WAVERLY

Ok, ok – I’ll come clean. I was abducted and sent to a top-secret location and was inducted into a cult. (Paranoid) They were everywhere – I couldn’t escape their clutches! I tried and tried to get out but I couldn’t leave! Finally, my family was able to break me out and I’ve just finished grueling psychoanalytical evaluations and am 100% back to normal!

DIXON

Well, that one I believe! It sounds as if you have been through the wringer and could use a fresh start – can you begin here tomorrow?

WAVERLY

(overjoyed) Oh, thank you so much Mr. Dixon – you won’t regret this!

They shake hands.

End of scene.

 

Scene Two: opens at Waverly’s cubical. He is working on the computer when the mail guy – Stuey – comes around to deliver mail.

STUEY

(ringing bell on his cart) Mail call. Mail Call. (spotting Margie at her desk) Margie – I got some mail for you. (rings the bell 3 more times)

WAVERLY

(in a trance brought on by the ringing – is rocking in his chair) The bells. The bells. The bells. Yes sir, Yes sir, Yes Sir, No Sir, You are very right sir. (This continues as DIXON walk by cube)

DIXON

(glancing in at WAVERLY and smiles) You got away from us once, Waverly – just TRY to escape the Burger King manager training program again and it’ll be the last French fry you’ll ever serve!

(look into camera – menically – evil laughter) Bwaa ha ha ha ha.

 

 

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